Family Reunion
by xotakux2002x
Summary: wherein itachi faces the consequences of forgetting his and kisame's anniversary. kisaita, fluff, sea world adventures, oneshot


Itachi had just taken a few Tylenol pills for his headache when Kisame walked into the room. "hey Kisame," he muttered, hoping the medicine would hurry up and kick in.

"Hey Itachi!" the shark said in a cheerful tone.

"What's with the good mood?"

"Hmm?" the shark's smile fell. "Itachi, do you know what today is?"

"Your birthday, right?" Itachi answered jokingly.

"Yup."

The weasel nearly had a heart attack. He'd forgotten his boyfriend's birthday.

"Itachi, did you forget?" the shark asked, his face taking on an annoyed look.

"Of course not," Itachi answered, fortunately keeping his cool.

"Then what'd you get me?"

"Well, um, I wasn't sure what to get you, so…" an idea suddenly came to the weasel, saving his hide. "So I decided I'd do whatever you wanted today."

"Such as?"

"Anything. Going to the beach, eating sushi, raping me until I can't walk. Name it."

"Well…" Kisame sat on the bed, thinking. He started and snapped his fingers. "I've got it!"

"What?"

"Itachi, let me tell you a story. You see, I grew up with my mother. I never really knew my father, or the fish on his side of the family-"

"Wait, you're actually related to fish?"

"Yes, my mother studied the ocean for a living. That's how she met my dad. Now, as a child, I-"

"How does that even work?!"

"It's very complicated and somewhat disturbing. I'll tell you at dinner. Now, when I got older, I wanted to meet the fish on my dad's side of the family. So, I traveled to the ocean, in hopes of meeting them. Well, I turns out that the fish that hadn't been eaten were taken to a certain theme park."

Itachi's eyes widened. "Kisame, you want to…"

"That's right, Itachi," the shark answered, grinning broadly. "We're going to Sea World."

The weasel quickly pocketed the bottle of Tylenol. He'd need the pills later.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Itachi muttered, hiding in the shade of a tree.

"Oh lighten up, Itachi! I just want to pop in a few relatives. Then we can go." Kisame grabbed his boyfriend and pulled him in for a quick kiss. "Thanks for doing this. I know you hate public places and crowds."

"Hn." The weasel pulled away. "I'm going to get a Coke, ok?"

"Sure," Kisame answered, sitting down on a bench. Meanwhile, two park employees were hiding in a bush, watching him. "Look at that!" one said.

"He's huge, Mel!" the other replied. "You think he escaped from a tank?"

"No way, Clem," Mel replied. "He's obviously a wild creature of some sort. We'll have to take him in to be analyzed until we can figure out what it is. Got it?"

"Right, boss!" Clem answered, holding up a large net.

Kisame started as he felt a net thrown over him, before he was pulled to the ground. "OW!"

"I got him, boss!" Clem said, grinning like a fool.

"Good. Now let's take it in." Mel and Clem began dragging the shark away, just as Itachi returned.

"Itachi, help! They think I'm a fish!" Kisame cried as he disappeared from sight.

Itachi stood there for a minute, staring, before he set down his soda and pulled out the Tylenol bottle. "I knew I'd need these…"

Itachi snuck through the dark park, grateful for the cloudy night. It meant that he was less likely to be spotted by overnight security guards. He crept up to the main building and found the back door unlocked. "Lousy security," he said to himself as he ducked inside, closing the door behind him.

The Uchiha walked down the deserted hallway, the smell of salt water and rotting fish filling his nostrils. He peeked into several rooms before he finally saw a closed door label, 'UNKNOWN SPECIES". The weasel opened the door and saw a large, circular fish tank, about four feet tall and twenty feet in diameter. "Kisame?"

"I'm here, Itachi." The shark swam to the side of the tank and leaned over, grinning. "You miss me?"

"No. You just have the car keys."

"Nice to know where your priorities lie."

"Sorry," Itachi murmured, walking over to his boyfriend and kissing him on the lips. He suddenly recoiled, gagging. "Kisame, what's wrong with your breath?"

"Oh, sorry, I forgot. They fed me chum!" Itachi looked like he was going to be sick. "Is it really that bad?" the weasel doubled over and puked. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Anyway, let's go."

"Itachi, I can't."

"…What?"

"Itachi, I finally got a chance to meet my relatives," Kisame explained, motioning to the other fish in his tank. "They're not really talkative, but they're pretty nice. And I can't leave them here in good conscious."

"What do you want me to do about it?" the weasel asked, reaching for more Tylenol.

"Easy. But we'll need a semi-trunk and a lot of sea water."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the ocean, several hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Itachi backed the truck up to the edge of the beach and shut off the engine. Kisame climbed out and walked around to the back, opening the hatch. Instantly sea water washed over him as fish desperately flopped their way to the ocean. "Bye everyone! See you later!" Kisame called, waving to his relatives.

"Well this was the weirdest day of my life," Itachi said, walking to stand beside his boyfriend. The Uchiha suddenly thrust a pack of Mentos into Kisame's face. "Eat. I'm not kissing you until that entire pack is gone."

"Glad to see you in such a pleasant mood," Kisame said, popping half the pack into his mouth right away.

"I can't believe it. I'm guilty of grand theft fish."

"Yeah. Isn't it great?"

"Promise me we'll never do something like this again."

"As long as you don't forget my birthday next year." The weasel started; Kisame knew?

"You're pretty easy to read, Itachi," Kisame went on. "So, I figured, why not meet my family and get revenge on you for forgetting my birthday? This way, everybody wins."

Itachi couldn't say anything. Instead, he unscrewed the cap on the Tylenol bottle and downed the remaining pills in one gulp. This headache wasn't going away anytime soon.


End file.
